Love struck Brats
by Ginanubismon
Summary: Montana Max will do anything to get out going to the prom with Elmyra, and he will do just that. Add one love sick bunny, an angry deity and a plot to control the world.
1. Chapter 1

The dread had struck him the second he had seen the poster, it meant that it was time for the horrible experience that would soon come after him with a carnivorous and monstrous insanity that would numb his mind and crush his body. It was Prom Night, and that meant that his "female counterpart" would seek out and attempt to drag him through hell and possibly back. If he was lucky enough, but he knew he was not.

It was something of tradition, of all toondom, to go to any special occasion/event/gala/festival with one's "counterpart", and while that maybe fine and dandy for some his counterpart happened to be on of the most deranged, and some would say sadistic, girl in of the state area. And when it gets around this time that girl can turn from scary to down right frightening, and it does not help when a Deus Ex Machina throws him at her, first it was those rabbits and then that volcano, there was even an incident where a bird picked him up and carried him back.

He knew there is a way out of this, there was always a way out of everything. And that way was money.

The only thing is how to use money? Elmyra is too dense to bribe, Mary is going out with someone else and that was it for the general human populace of the Loonivercity which in and of itself is depressing for him. Maybe there was something he was over looking, something obvious but easy to miss. Looking over the poster there has to be something, but all there was stupid hearts and little silhouettes of cupids. Stupid things, he hates them and everything they stand for.

He stopped, what they stand for. Looking up he focused on the cupids, in the twisted mind of Montana Max a plan was forming.

(-)

Acme Acres in Spring time was usually one filled with love and sweetness that would cause cavities. Little Beeper, in a show of good friendship, would secretly drop off a box of chocolates at Calamity's while Plucky was actually trying to be a gentlemen (or at least as much as one as he can be) with many residence finding love.

Except for two rabbits.

The fight began about two weeks ago, while watching tv Babs had mentioned about how mature the boys were on Malcome's villa and Buster had to say it was all an act, that no one can be mature like that in real life. Needless to say this lead into the passive aggressive silence between them, even while walking back from school like they always had done but with an almost deathly iciness between them. Buster glanced over at Babs as she glared back right back at him.

"You know Babs, this is not very mature of you to be acting this way." The moment the poor choice of words came out his mouth Buster Bunny had instantly regretted it, the daggers he could feeling being stared at him was almost physical.

"Well. Excuse me for wanting a boyfriend that does not spend most of his Fridays at the Weenie Burger trying to get Dizzy to eat a whole Bomber."

"Stealth or B-52?" Buster's comical quip had made Babs a bit angry, "hey, it was a joke."

"A joke?" Babs said softly as her face displayed no emotion. "A _joke?_" Buster stepped back in fear of what action Babs might take. There was none, instead she just walked ahead without a single word leaving the blue bunny alone.

_She needs to cool down,_ he thought. _Then I can talk to her._ Up the road Babs had quickly wipe away the on coming tears.

(-)

To find the target one must think like said target, or so had said his teachers in cartoon hunting 202. And the target was a man-child in a diaper flying around on small wings and wielding a bow and arrow to make people fall in love, so where would he find something like that?

It was outside of Phink's Liquor and ammo outlet that the target, one Cupid, had been found laying face down in the gutter with a bottle of the cheapest booze they have. Not a pretty sight, or smell for that matter, but it was expected as Montana Max stood over him. In a drunk stupor Cupid looked up. "What do you want?"

"I need a date to the dance." Max had cut to the chase, he was not one to beat around the bush when it comes to personal gain. At least personal gain without trickery.

Cupid, despite being drunk and laying in a gutter with his diaper almost falling off, had just smirked. "And you want me to do what?"

"To make someone fall in love, and I want it now!"

Cupid only laughed at the request as he stood up, he swayed a bit but kept his ground. "What will you give me in return? Money? What good is that to me, besides being a grown man-baby in a diaper my mother, Aphrodite, is stinking rich."

Monty, angered and a bit annoyed, kept his cool the best he can. Then he remembered something from the last encounter with "Cupid", when that condor had taken over the role. "I will take over your shift for the rest of the day."

Cupid had taken the last swig of his bottle then threw it aside and after wiping his mouth he said, "if you make it the rest of the week you have a deal." Montana Max held back some bitting words as he nodded, but instead of handing over the bow and arrows Cupid added on more thing. "Remember, you cannot use the bow to attract people to yourself but I guess you can bribe someone into some that for you."

Montana Max, now armed with the arrows of love and the bow of Aphrodite he knows that half of his plan is becoming a reality.

All he needs now is a patsy and a single girl. He knows how where to get one pasty, now he needs the girl.

(-)

Plucky Duck was in a jam, he wanted to beat out Fowlmouth to get Shirly to the dance and for that he knew he need something special and for something special he needed money. And he was broke at the moment. Currently he was sitting on a park beach thinking of a scheme to get rich quickly.

"Hey duck." when he opened his eyes to the familiar voice to find the spoil brat holding a bow and arrows it made him kind of worried. The last time when the green mallard needed money and the spoiled brat showed up arrows Plucky needed to visit the ICU for play reverse William Tell, that is where one stands on one's head places the apple on their feet. Needless to say Monty missed, greatly.

Plucky, who's natural greed and need to be center star often over takes his common sense, stood up. "Whatcha need Monty?"

Monty thrusted the bow and arrows into the hands of Plucky while looking around with extreme cation, "I need you to use these love arrows to make a girl fall in love with me."

"What do I get out of this?" Plucky asked while looking over the items he was given. Montana Max grasped him by the collar while lifting him up a bit.

"How about I won't pound you into a fine mush and leave you in the ICU again in a match box marked dead guy?"

"Well, you make such a wonderful argument." Plucky gulped, he was put back onto the ground as Monty turned away from him. "Hey, what kind of girl you want?"

"I don't care, as long as it is not Elmyra!" Monty shouted as he walked away from his "hired" man. Plucky, left to his own wits about the situation, wonder how does one work the things as he assumes they are some kind of magical arrows or what not.

"What's this?" Plucky said when he noticed a small scroll among the arrows, pulling it out and looking it over he noticed it was held together by a piece of twine which was easily snapped. Unrolling the scroll he read this:

**If you are reading this than my employee, Cupid, had left his post, _again_, and has left you in charge of the bows and arrows of love. Please follow instructions for proper use.**

**Use two arrows to bring together two lovers, but when you need to attract only one person to the other focus on the name of the attracter and fire at attracted.**

**Best wishes, the big man.**

_Well, simple enough._ He thought to himself while stuffing the papers into a body pocket, lifting a finger to test the air speed and direction then thought about he aimed. "I shot an arrow into the air," he pulled back as he closed his eyes then released. "And when it land, I hope I avoid a cop."

"OW!"

Upon opening his eyes there was a pink bunny with a suction cup equipped arrow pasted to the side of her head, for a moment he feared for his life but there was something odd happening. Her eyes were starry and her face showed a state of dream like thought as she whispered one name, "Monty."

Plucky, dazed and confused from the passing five minutes, had watched Babs become a pink cloud as he shrugged. Throwing the items into the nearest trash can he whistled while walking away trying not to be blamed for this one.

(-)

Up in the lower levels of heaven sat Elohim, the retainer of the white cloud mountains and guardian of the Hebrews people as well as the overseer of the minor things, had been sitting in his chair filing the latest amount of paper work from the higher levels when a small crystal paper weight suddenly turned red.

This means that the idiot Cupid had given his bow and arrows to someone else and left his post, which means more head aches and possibly training a replacement. He did warn him of this, several times but when he had to place a seal on the bows in the form of twine he knew there would be need to begin train as soon as possible.

But first he has to punish both the deserter and the person that took over.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been fifteen minutes since he had left the duck hoping that the moron does not screw it up, but he knew he will. Maybe he should go back and take the bow and arrows away from and place them in more capable hands. Turning back he felt his ribs getting crushed by eminence pressure as something kept on saying "I love you" in a squeaky and high tone with many cutesy words through in. At first thought Elmyra had caught him and it was too late, but as he looked down to see pink snuggle against his chest his mind was racing and his heart stopped cold.

_Babs?_

"I love-wovey-vowey you-ou." Babs said with hearts in her eyes. Montana Max only thought of the many ways to prepare duck while he tried to get out of her grip, she was holding on very firmly and none of the tricks he used to get Elmyra's attention away from him will work.

"Let go!" Monty demanded. Struggling he freed one hand, that is all he needed to pull the loose string of his collar to send him fly out of the pink rabbit's grip and her to hold a pile of empty clothes. _Honda's Elmyra escape clothes, ever leave home without it_ as he stood up to dust off the second suit he wears underneath the escape one. Walking away he almost ran into Babs.

"Where are you going?" Babs said in a lovey tone as she tried to crease the rich boy. He backed away trying to get away but she held his wrist, "come on."

"Where are you taking me."

"To the movies, like any other couple."

"We are not a couple!" Monty try to wrench himself free but only tired himself in the process, for half the distance with many people turning and staring he was literarily dragged before he had just shrugged. He was growing tired of being tired of being stared at like a circus freak and he just walk behind with one hand in his pocket and the other held tightly by the pink rabbit. He could hear some whispers as he passed by some of the crowd, ignoring most of them they arrived at the movie theater.

"You know that new Yiova film looks good." Babs pointed towards the poster that contained a couple kissing in the center with the background a blaze, it was another chick film and he knew it. There was no fighting it he just nodded as he was dragged up to the ticket window, where he received more strange looks.

"Two for that chick flick." Montana Max muttered as he reached for his wallet, there was several layers of protection to get through until he had to pray out the money from the clutches of a bear trap, after receiving the tickets he was dragged into the theater passing the concession stand. He would have asked why they skipped the snacks but kept his mouth shut as he believes to already to had spend to much all ready. As they found some seats he waited, the room went dark for the moment. As a small amount of light came back he had slipped out leaving a decoy in his place leaving Babs thinking he was still there.

In fact every man in the room had replaced themselves with a decoy.

Outside of the theater Monty was looking around hoping to get away from the situation, regroup and strangle the green duck and the winged man-child. But first he has to break the hold on Babs, and that would take a moment for research and planning. And the best place for that is the Looniversity library, and there was only one person there that can help.

(-)

Buster was being approached by a lot of people lately after he had tried to clear his head, some times they would glare and ask what did he do and the other half would pat him on the back while going what a pity. Confused, and curious, of what is happening he spent the entire time wondering around town. He really wished he knew what is happening. Spotting a familiar green duck he wonder if he would know what is happening.

"Plucky, glad to see you." Buster must have caught him off guard as the green mallard had jumped several feet, this only reinforced his suspicions that something is happening. "Everyone has been acting strangely around me, do you know why?"

Plucky shifted as he backed away while looking around. "What? No, nothing is strange around here. Especially not when all is right in the world, you know everything is fine." he was trying to get away but Buster only stood there with his arms crossed waiting with a stern glare waiting for an answer, Plucky gulped. "It was Montana Max! Not me, he put me up to it! Look for him." with those words the mallard ran away leaving a trail of dust behind.

"Monty's got a hand in this?" Buster said to himself, "then it has to be bad."

(-)

Elohim looked up as the doors to his meta-physical office as the silhouette of a young man stood there, this is the replacement for Cupid. This person, who had been out of serves for near ages, was amazingly prepared for this.

"It has been ages." Elohim said.

"Let's cut the small talk, Mr. Elohim." the figure said as he walked towards the desk, "we know now that the placement turned out to be a louse."

Tongue in cheek Elohim held back a few choice comments, while the figure maybe right he did not have to be so blunt about it. "May that be I will assign you to the normal route, the same rules apply to you as it did to him."

"And what of Cupid, and his ill gained replacement?"

"The standard trial through hell for the replacement and send Cupid up to me." the silhouette nodded before bowing then vanishing.

(-)

Babs was angry, no, Babs was furious that her boyfriend had ditched her in the movie theater with a stuff bear decoy. She was alternating between hugging the soft bear and practicing her death glares. Turning a corner she saw Elmyra up the street, her heart skipped a few beats in fear. So far the red haired girl had her back to her and has yet noticed her, if she did would feel like a walnut in a vice.

Turning away she had found herself face to face with the sadistic youth, and she did not appear very happy. In fact her face was red as her hair.

"Er, wha's up kid?" Babs could not resist as the girl just breathed down her face.

"Don't 'wha's up' me, I know what you have been doing." Elmyra jabbed a finger into Babs' chest while speaking, "you had been with my boyfriend all around town."

"A, he's my boyfriend and B, it has nothing to do with you."

"What do you think you are doing? One not enough?" Elmyra had her fist balled at her sides, "can't get enough attention and you need more?"

"Elmyra, I am not in the mood to play with you. I got to find Monty," Babs stopped speaking as the sadistic girl narrowed her eyes at her. Stepping up to her Elmyra just growled a bit before turning away.

"I will get you for this." Elmyra said, "Barbara Ann Bunny."

Babs held her tongue about calling her that but instead watched the insane girl disappear around the corner.

(-)

He made it after a long and carefully executed trip through the streets. But here he is, in front of the Looniversity. All he has to do now is to get to the library and find Bookworm then find a way to clean up this mess. Bursting through the double doors and guessing the general direction he took off like a rocket, it took him close to fifteen minutes to find the right way and when he got there he was surprised.

There was a sign, sitting in the center of the doors that would lead into the library. It was there to declare to one and all this:

**Due to an unfortunate accident with a Tasmanian devil the library will be closed until further notice.**

_Damn._ He could only think as he lean against the wall. What dumb luck and he knew that this could only get worse, He just did not know how much more it will get.

(-)

He appeared on earth, first thing he had on his mind was to track down and punish his predecessor and his replacement.

This should not be too hard.


End file.
